The Iconic Chair Lift Dance at Michelle and Kyle's Wedding That Left Everyone Smiling

Martha Graham called dance the “hidden language of the soul,” and Gabrielle Roth says, “We dance to disappear in something bigger…to fall in love with the spirit in all things.”

Since Michelle and Kyle got married in Napa recently, guests couldn’t stop talking about the dance called “The Horah” where everyone gathers around the bride and groom and dances around them in a circle. Having married into a Jewish family, I have had many opportunities to partake in this fun, heart-opening, spirited dance.

For those unfamiliar with this circle dance, at some point, chairs are brought on to the dance floor for the married couple to sit on, and several able bodied guests (hopefully not hammered by alcohol)🙂 hoist them up into the air like a “King and Queen,” for the evening. The Horah is a type of Israeli folk dance that originated from Romania (and dates back even further to ancient Greece). During this topsy-turvy dance where the bride and groom are up in the air together, they each hold on to the end of a handkerchief or white linen table napkin. This smbolizes the connection to each other and represents the sealing of their marital vows. 

One look at these photos, emailed to me by my sister Josie, and brother Steve, and one can see that being lifted in the chairs can be as scary as it is exhilirating. It’s like riding a mechanical bull at your local country western bar—not for the faint of heart. If you don’t believe me, just ask Academy Award winning actor Michael Douglas. During his son Dylan’s Bar Mitzvah celebration, he pulled a muscle while being hoisted up in the air during the chair dance. All the jerking up and down, and back and forth, left him limping for days. That said, I am happy to report we all survived the dance without injury.

The “chair dance," has always been a mainstay of Jewish wedding celebrations. Ever since Fidler on the Roof, it has become part of our pop culture. It also has become part of the the music/dance play list for interfaith couples—where one spouse is Jewish. Judging by their own experience and that of our guests, I know Kyle and Michelle would agree that the wedding reception wouldn’t have been complete without The Horah circle dance and chair lift. This beautiful ritual symbolizes how much joy family and friends have for our beloved newlyweds. 
 

“Come Be Greek for a Day,” said the Invitation and share in the Greek Traditions of Food, Drink and Dance!

Cecile and I accepted and attended the 45th annual San Jose Greek Food and Cultural Festival Yesterday, sponsored by St. Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church.

While on the mini-bus shuttle that took us to the event, I sat next to a man from Romania. He told me he tried to get his kids to join him in experiencing a new culture but they weren’t interested. “They were too busy playing electronic games and texting their friends,” he said. Though he smiled while saying this, I could feel his sense of frustration. He could have easily used the phrase: “It’s Greek to me,” to explain his kids incomprehensible behavior in not taking advantage of the opportunity offered to them. “You don’t have to travel out of the country to enjoy other cultures,” he added as we arrived at our destination. 

As we exited the shuttle and bought our tickets we began to smell the aroma of beef, chicken, lamb and other foods being prepared by Greek Chefs in the Bay Area using recipes that have been handed down for generations. We ordered the traditional Gyro Sandwich, a spicy and savory pressed meat served with cucumber sauce on soft and fluffy Greek pita bread, an Athenian Salad and shared a bottle of Greek Beer.

After lunch we moved to a large tented area to watch the adorable children perform traditional Greek folk dances called: “Philotimo” and “Meraki,” as their proud smiing parents took photos to memorialize the event. The word Philotimo we were told means, “friend,” and Meraki means, “the soul, creativity and love you put into something.” In front of me a father of one of the girls had a T-Shirt with a quote from George Panayotopoulos that read: "The beauty of Greek Dancing is that you don't dance with your feet...you dance with your heart."

In the end, we experienced the culture and hospitality of the fun loving Greek people in a spacious outdoor, open-market setting under a sunny day. The food was delicious and we enjoyed communing with Greeks and non-Greeks alike. All of us were walking about, happy to be alive. Zorba said it best, "...there is only one life for all men...there is no other...all that can be enjoyed must be enjoyed here." By the time we were ready to leave we realized we “did” feel “Greek for a Day.” We even made it to the Parthenon (see photo).

Maybe the Romanian man I met on the shuttle was right. Maybe, “You don’t [always] have to travel out of the country to enjoy other cultures.” Maybe it’s just about showing up, as a guest at someone’s home ready to accept their hospitality and their desire to make you feel at home. OPA!

Memorial Day Weekend Brunch at Shoreline with our Chicago Family

Memorial Day Weekend Brunch at Shoreline with our Chicago Family

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it

                                                                                    —William Arthur Ward

Just past the Shoreline Amphitheater sits Shoreline at Mountain View, California, a 750-acre wildlife refuge and recreation area on the SF Bay, located in the heart of Silicon Valley. We had Brunch yesterday at the Lakeside Cafe with Cecile's brother Mark Weiner, wife Barbara and Ilana and Zachary who enjoyed an hour of paddle boating while I did a two mile walk on my favorite trail around the lake and and along the Bay. The weather was accommodating, the colors were bright and cheerful and it seemed everyone was out to embrace this beautiful day.

Cycling the Backroads of Napa Valley Before Michelle and Kyle's Wedding Ceremony

While the ladies were getting their hair and nails done at the Spa at Silverado Resort in Napa—including my wife Cecile and daughter Michelle—Kyle played 18 rounds of golf with twenty of his friends and family members.
What did I do? Thanks to my friend James “Jimi” Hunter, we rode electric bikes that he and his beloved Jennifer brought up from Los Gatos. Everyone needs a friend like Jimi. I see him as the “Minister of Fun.” He motivates you to get out there and do things. It got back to me that he even got my son Jason and a few strangers to take his bike for a short spin.

Napa Valley is “an embarrassment of riches,” including 500 wineries, top rated restaurants and cycling routes, many with no designated bike lanes. We just made it up as we road along. In was a perfect morning to go riding, sunny, mild, fresh valley air—a respite from the late afternoon 90 degree heat we were in for. We drove in some of the most serene, scenic, friendly and low traffic parts of the valley. We stopped along the way to visit cattle, horses as seen in the photos, then continued our ride past manicured vineyards and private estates. The two hour riding time never went so fast. We got back to our respective rooms with a few hours to spare before Cecile and I walked Michelle down the bridal path, then gave her hand to Kyle and they were pronounced husband and wife by Jason, The Officiant, under the ceremonial Chuppa. It doesn’t get any better than this. Though, we hear grand kids are fun.🙂

Michelle & Kyle Tie the Knot in the Heart of Napa Valley

“Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life."
—Richard Bach

The Grove at Silverado Resort and Spa in Napa is an all outdoor wedding venue situated in the middle of our two golf courses. It is surrounded by towering oaks, beautiful gardens, and spectacular views of the greens and mountain ranges. It is the reason it is one of the most popular and inspired settings to get married. When we saw our beautiful daughter Michelle in her wedding dress surrounded by her lovely bridesmaids our hearts melted. It finally struck us, we are giving our daughter away to Kyle, the love of her life. We couldn’t be more pleased with her choice.

A Successful marriage is not about finding a person you can live with, but discovering that special partner you can’t possibly live without. Michelle and Kyle had many opportunities to meet: They went to Cal Poly, attended a semester abroad in Florence, one of the most romantic cities in the world, were in Las Vegas on the same weekend, to name a few, but it was not their time, yet. As our Jason, who officiated the wedding ceremony with creative brilliance, love, and inspired humor said: “The universe wouldn’t place them together again until four years later, when Michelle saw on Facebook that Kyle was getting ready to move to NYC where she lived at the time. She sent Kyle a note and said she’d love to connect with a fellow Cal Poly alum once he gets settled in. A couple of weeks later he invited her to a housewarming party,” and the rest as they say is history.

This begs the question how are couples fated to meet? What is the mysterious matchmaking forces at play behind the scenes that make it happen? In ancient Chinese folklore, the wise sages believed that there is a red thread that magically connects two people destined to become lovers, regardless of time, space or circumstance called, “The Red String of Fate.” Legend has it that the string may stretch or tangle but the connection can never be broken. Rumi, the beloved 13th Persian Sufi poet put it this way: “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere, they are in each other’s souls,” to which I would add, long before their physical bodies are revealed and the mind registers that, “This is the one! 

As we walked down the bridal path leading to The Grove, the iconic Beatles song: “Here comes the Sun,” was playing. I thought it was a great metaphor for letting go of the youthful uncertainties of the past and basking in the sunlight of marital bliss. It also reminded me when Michelle was born Cecile gave her the Hebrew name—Hila, which means, “Halo of Glowing Light.” She has been the Light of our Life ever since and has radiated that same light to her beloved Kyle, his family, and all their friends. Since meeting Kyle, who has an incredible Lightness of Being in his own right, we have never seen Michelle so happy. When children find true love, parents find true joy. The Toast: Here’s to the past, and the Red String of Fate, that brought you together; Here’s to the present, for all the love and light you share with one another and with your family and friends; Here’s to the future, may all your dreams and wishes come true; and, as you go about your life’s journey together, may you be peaceful, may you be safe, and may you be happy. Congratulations! We love you. 
P.S. I will always remember the Father-Daughter dance song: "Unforgettable," you chose for us. You are unforgettable and so was your marriage to Kyle and the celebration with family and friends.

Celebrating Mother’s Day with a festive Brunch at La Rinconada Country Club

"When you are a Mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A Mother always thinks twice,
once for her Herself and once for Her Child…”
–Sophia Loren

First of all, Cecile and I would like to wish all the special Mothers out there a very Happy Mother’s Day.
Those present at our celebration were AL and Kim Chien who hosted the event. Thank you for your generosity, friendship and love. Also present were AL’s parents Dana and Jack, AL’s brother Rich, his wife Lisa and their adorable children, Alivia and Simone; Kyle, Michelle and Jason. Gifts were exchanged for the moms, the weather couldn’t have been more accommodating, the decorations, flowers and ice sculpture were a work of art, and the food, drinks and dessert was beyond delicious, and the service beyond reproach. 

We often forget where the special milestone holidays we celebrate each year originate, so I thought a brief history
was in order. Celebrating Mother’s Day can be traced back to the ancient Romans and Greeks. In more modern times the celebration of mom’s dates back to the 19th century.
Abolitionist and suffragette Julia Ward Howe wrote the “Mother’s Day Proclamation,” calling mother’s to unite in the promotion of world peace.
1n 1908, Philadelphian feminist activist Anna Jarvis created Mother’s Day after her mother’s death, to honor the sacrifices mothers made for their children. Though Philly is known as the City of Brotherly Love, it could easily be referred to as the City of Motherly Love. Thanks to Jarvis’ campaigning efforts, a Congressional resolution was put intio play and was signed by President Woodrow Wilson in 1914, proclaiming Mother’s Day a national holiday.

Mother's Day: Remembering What My Italian Mother Taught Me

Mother's Day: Remembering What My Italian Mother Taught Me

"The loss of a mother can never be replaced, but the love of a mother can never be lost. —Kelly Flannery

We had dinner with our new friends, Ron and Gail last evening who had downsized around the same time we did, to the same gated community we now call home. One of the topics we spoke about was Mother’s Day. I had said for me Mother’s Day is bittersweet. I lost my mother on Mother’s Day. Ron said, “So did I.” In that moment I had a sobering thought that death never takes a holiday and doesn’t play favorites. When it’s your time, it's your time.

Mom was a beautiful woman, and had a smile that would light up a room; a laugh that was both robust and contagious; and possessed the sharpest of wits that would have you in stitches. She was also a hospitable host to family and friends and had the most charming Italian accent. I used to love going back to the Sicily with her to visit our ancestors.

As a devout Catholic, mom was confident that there was a room waiting for her in the Afterlife. I feel safe in saying that at the ripe old age of 88, bodily ailments and dementia setting in, she was ready to meet her maker.

It’s been four years since she has passed, and I have come to the realization that the best way to cope with having lost my mother is to change the narrative. Instead of looking at it as “my” loss, I chose to refect upon who she was, what she taught me, and the tools at my disposal to deal with the wave of melancholy that rears its head from time to time.

Mom taught me to have respect for my elders.
Mom urged me to stay in college when I was thinking of dropping out.
Mom taught me there was a power bigger than myself.
Mom told me stories of her life in Sicily before coming to America in 1947.
Mom taught me how to hug with a heartfelt embrace.
Mom taught me how to be strong when things weren’t going my way.
Mom nurtured and protected me the best she knew how.
Mom was patient even when I pushed her away.
Mom didn’t give up on me even when I would fall flat on my face.
Mom always tried to cheer me up when I was sad.
Mom taught me the meaning of hard work and sacrifice.
She taught me how to persevere and encouraged me to believe in my dreams.
She was proud of my accomplishments, and most of all she gave me unconditional love.

Common to many religious traditions are Light offerings, contemplation and prayers. They symbolize removing the darkness that death symbolizes and replacing it with the light of wisdom.

I found the single most effective ritual to ease the pain and sadness of a loss is to share it with others who are going through the same thing by employing an ancient Tibetan practice called Tonglen that has gained popularity in the West. It was taught to me and Cecile by Pema Chodron, an American born former elementary school teacher who became a Buddhist nun and utitilizes the medium of Breath. It replaces the dynamics of fear, grief or anger with compassion for oneself and our fellow human beings.Though it may seem counter-intutiive at first, one breathes in the pain and suffering of one’s self and and others who are going through difficult times. Relief is offered with the out-breath to anyone who needs it whether you know them or not. The experiential message of tonglen is that it reduces the feeling of isolation. It is a universal law that at any given time all of us suffering and joy. This is a way to share the burden of grief, and in doing so cuts it in half.

Mom, thank you for all the sacrifices you made for your family both here and abroad. Love you.

The Scoop on Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream at Creamistry

"Life is like an ice cream cone, enjoy it before it melts away."
—Dennis Augustine

On a hot day like today, 81° here in Northern California (yesterday it was 94°, “we all scream for ice cream.”
Remember that poet getting on in years who said, “If I had it to do over again I would eat more ice cream…?
I’m with her, why wait and have regrets, unless of course you’re a diabetic, and even then there are choices.

One of the newer kids on the block in customized handcrafted fresh ice cream using Liquid Nitrogen is Creamistry. It’s a play on words: Chemistry and Creamery. The rapid freezing process (—321° Fahrenheit) provides the smoothest, richest and creamiest frozen delight. They call their servers “Creamologists.” Yes, I know it sounds like you're at your dermatologist's office. 

Part of the fun of liquid nitrogen ice cream shops, is watching your ice cream being made. When liquid nitrogen is mixed with your ice cream base, it makes the air around it very cold. This creates fumaroles of white fog that engulfs your Creamologist behind the counter top and plexiglass panel. It makes you feel like you are on the movie set of Star Trek. Beam me up Scotty! Cecile and I had fun watching and being part of a group of customers snapping photos with our cell phone cameras of this interesting phenomenon. It’s a great place to take your kids and grandkids. 

Once the fog clears, your freshly made ice cream is whisked away to the toppings bar where its adorned with your choice of toppings. They use all natural, organic ingredients and boast over 70 flavors and toppings. There are rich Vegan alternatives and Nitro shakes on the menu of choices.

We tried our first Creamstry delight in Palm Dessert. But there is one located in downtown Palo Alto with a national roll out under way as we speak.

Liquid nitgrogen has been around forever. As we learned in our science studies, Nitrogen is part of the Periodic Table bearing the symbol N and atomic number 7. I used it to freeze off warts in my clinic when I was a practicing podiatrist and many other surgeons use it to elminate cancerous cells. 

Besides making ice cream, liquid nitrogen which comes in pressurized tanks and vacuum flasks, has been used in the food and beverage service industry to displace oxygen from the package of let’s say your favorite potato chips, before it is sealed. It’s the presence of moisture that deteriorates the food quality.

The Culinary Institute of America instituted a major in culinary science. As part of obtaining their degree, students learn how to use liquid nitrogen as a coolant to not only make a smoother batch of ice cream, but to freeze strawberries in liquid nitrogen and then smash them to produce strawberry dust that could be sprinkled over a dessert. It is also used in the kitchen to flash-freeze herbs or alcohol. Bartenders use it to supercool your glass giving it a sophisticated dramatic-looking vapor.

Brunch and Bonding Time with my son Jason at the Bell Tower Cafe'

This charming Saratoga neighborhood eatery near downtown is housed in a converted historic church that dates back to 1896.
And, in spite of its religious heritage you don’t have to pray that the food you are about to be served is good. It “is” good. The white egg Persian Omelette with four organic eggs, basil, tomatoes and feta cheese is one of my favorites. Jason had the California Omelette.
The Cafe’ sports three patios with optional fresh-air dining that is peaceful and serene and welcomes and accomodates dogs. They are only open for breakfast and American-style lunch, including an assortment of tasty desserts showcased in their bakery display case. The Cafe’ is known for quick and friendly service and the freshest of ingredients.
I couldn’t resist ringing one of the 9 antique bells on the iron stand in the quaint reception nook as patrons waited for their names to be called.
While pausing half way through our meal, I saw a sign on the wall which read, “The Fondest Memories are made Gathered around the Table,” and, all I can think of was how nice it was to have my son back in the Bay Area.

The Baby Boomer, The Millennial, & J. Crew's CEO:

Cecile and I had a party to go to in honor of Michelle and Kyle. “Dress casual,” she said. Music to my ears, I thought. After all, my favorite wardrobe these days is Lululemon yoga wear. Don’t knock it, until you try it, guys. It’s like wearing PJs all day.
I compromized. I put on a blue Lululemon shirt, a pair of blue jeans and a grey J Crew Outfitter pullover sweater with a half zip that my fashion conscious son Jason had given me for Christmas last year. There was an unseasonable chill in the air at the pre-dinner backyard cocktail party at the Metrulas family home, and I praised myself for selecting the right choice of clothing to wear.

Suddenly, I noticed our young friend, Noel motion with his fingers to his chest and then then pointing to my chest. I realized this was men’s speak for, “Dude we are wearing the same sweater.” I’m sure this has happend to almost everyone at one time or another, when you suddenly realize that someone is wearing the exact same oufit as you. 
As fate would have it, we were seated across from each other. A Millennial and an aging “Baby Boomer,” with over 30 years between us, sitting there like two book ends. Noel’s fiancee, Kacy, a psychiatry resident at Stanford said, “You look like twins,” as she smiled micheviously. In the end, Noel and I were pretty cool about it, laughing about it in fact, as we partied on. After all, we didn’t have to worry about the late Joan RIvers of the Fashion Police getting on our case for confusing the public. 

After a few days went by, I got this brainstorm to email J. Crew Chairman and CEO Millard “Mickey” Drexler. Really, no lie! In fact, I discovered that he had extended an invitation to J. Crew customers to give him feedback on the companies e-commerce site. So I did. I told him about the party, how Noel and I were dressed alike in our J Crew sweaters. The one observation I had made about their website was that it markets to a much younger crowd, and one market they were overlooking was more mature dudes like myself.

He promptly wrote back: “Hi Dennis, hope everthing is well—thanks so much for your email—totally agree with your comments and we’re actually working on showing more people of different ages...who do in fact wear our clothes or ‘should be wearing our clothes'…Have a great weekend!" Best, Mickey. 

Whoops, I need to go. Noel and I have a photoshoot with GQ:-)

Couples Wedding Shower Honoring Our daughter Michelle & her Husband to Be—Kyle Lewis

The Setting: Home of Kyle’s cousin Lynn and husband Pete Metrulas who graciously hosted the event at their home. A lot of love went into the planning and execution of this party. They went beyond the call of duty.
With the help of Kyle's mom, Kim, stepdad AL and others, They transformed the inside of their historical home dating back to the 1800s into a cozy banquet room for family and friends to celebrate the made-for-each other couple. Cocktails were served in the back yard below which Steven’s Creek literally runs through the back of the homes in the neighborhood. The sound of the rushing water added to the ambience of what turned out to be a fun evening of great food, games like Name That Tune, and gift opening by the future newlyweds. 
Dearest Michelle and Kyle. May you continue to be a gift and a blessing to each other. We can’t wait for the big event in Napa when you officially take your marital vows. We Love You.

Dining at Cafe' Figaro with Jason and Michelle at a Price we Couldn't Refuse

Located on Broadway in downtown Burlingame, this four star rated restaurant serves authentic homemade Italian cuisine. It has a warm and cozy neighborhood feel resembling the ones I frequent when visiting family in New Jersey.

The word Figaro always intrigued me as a kid. It is best known as the name of Mister Geppeto and Pinocchio’s pet cat and refers to a cartoon mouse who incessantly teases the cat by singing “Figaro,” inside the wall. In fact to some, the word Figaro repeated over and over again, means you are “pretending” to sing opera-like I did when I was a kid: “figaro, figaro, fiiiigaaaroh!"

To opera buffs, Figaro is the name of an adroit, scheming, intriguing Spanish barber who appears in in eighteenth-century operas like “The Marriage of Figaro,” by Mozart and the “Barbers of Sevile," by Rossini.

By arrangements with Travelzoo, Cafe’ Figaro gave us a deal we couldn’t refuse. Dinner for four was priced at $115, or 50% off their regular price. If interested the offer is good thru September 2017. It included a glass of wine each; two shared appetizers up to $18.95; 4 entrees up to $34.95 each and two shared desserts up to $16.95.

We began our meal with crusty bread with herb infused balsamic and olive oil dipping sauce; Mussels steamed in garlic, wine, fresh tomato and basil; and the Antipasto Misto. For our main course we enjoyed Spaghetti alla Bolognese; Chicken Parmesan, Gamberi alla Mediterranea, and the fresh fish of day. Last but not least we enjoyed two shared desserts: Flourless decadent chocolate cake and Bread Pudding with maple brandy sauce and creme anglaise.

The waiters were delightful and engaging, the service was impeccable and the food was deliciously good. John Walters said: The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.” Or as my late beloved Sicilian mother used to say before every meal: Buon Appetito!

Beggars & Panhandlers: To Give or Not to Give to, that is the Question?

As I've grown older I give mindfully and more often, leading with my heart rather than the judgmental mind, knowing that it's a 50/50 proposition whether the person I encounter has a genuine or legitimate need. That being said, I understand why people are hesitant to give.

We've all seen the soggy side of a cardboard sign with the scrawled message that reads,” Hungry and Homeless, Anything Helps,” or "Kindness is Karma, please help!" There's even a phrase for it, “Flying a sign.” The message is often creative, poignant, heart-rending, inspirational, and sometimes downright funny enough to part you from your money. It is done quickly, silently and without transgressing any local statutes against agressive
panhandling. The intent is to make us feel guilty and uncomfortable, reminding us,“ But for the grace of God go I.”

When Cecile and I were in SF recently, we came across two such people. The first one was a young woman and her well groomed cat that was entertaining pedestrians by doing a downward facing cat yoga pose—on the fly, balancing itself on it's owner's head and shoulder. Since we were both walking briskly in opposite directions, I hadn’t noticed she was clutching a tightly rolled-up wad of cash in her left hand until after I saw the photo.
The other was a strung out crack addict with all her front teeth missing sitting in the doorway of an abandoned buildling with an innocent dog sleeping on her nap. I didn’t take her photo as it seemed too exploitive, but this one pulled on our heartstrings so we gave her some cash.

For some people who encounter this situation it creates sympathy for the homeless and for others a total lack of empathy. The ACLU has advocated for the rights of sign-flyers across the country. Their argument is that “we the public,” can choose to give to the beggars and pandhandlers or not. On a good day they can make a daily wage of $30-$40 a day, not exactly a windfall, but enough to get by.

But windfalls are possible. A few years ago a reporter for the New York Post wrote about a guy in the second photo who called himself Noah (aka Joseph Ramos, 64 at the time)—because he set up a miniature Noah’s Ark on the upper East Side of NYC to draw in patrons. He invited them to take photos. He had two cats, two dogs, and three guinea pigs and was raking in $40-$50 an hour. Yes, an hour—this is no typo! After having been addicted to alcohol and crack cocaine for 16 years, he claimed to have found God. ASPCA spokesmen said agents invesitgating complaints by some passersbye found no evidence of cruelty or abuse and after inspecting the pets, deemed them to be healthy.

Most panhandlers or beggars like Noah clearly have issues: a history of drugs and alcohol abuse and/or mental illness. Some are just scam artists who don’t want to work a 9 to 5 job.
You can’t always tell who is trully needy, so what does one do?

Last February Pope Francis was asked by a reporter for the Catholic News Service if giving money to beggars was proper since they may spend it on alcohol or drugs. His response was that we should ask ourselves what we “do on the sly?” What happiness do we “seek in secret.” The Holy Father added: “giving to someone in need, “is always right,” and should be done with respect and compassion. In the end, everyone must work out this moral dilemma for themselves. 
credits: 
1-Carol Glatz, Catholic News Service, February 28, 2017
2-NY Post Metro section by Kate Briquelet June 10, 2012

We Found Our Favorite HeARTS ❤️❤️ in San Francisco & Showy Flowers Too

After Cecile returned a dress at Nordstrom's and we had lunch at the Cafe Bistro, we strolled in and around Union Square. We saw the ever present cable cars, colorful flowers like the showy Yellow Trumpet Vine. We also saw the Heart Sculpture exhibit in Union Square Park, including Tony Bennet's America's "Greatest City By The Bay." HEARTS in SF is an annual public art installation that began in 2004 by the San Francisco General Hospital Foundation. The choice of hearts was inspired by the Tony Bennet* song, "I Left My Heart in San Francisco." Each year these sculptures are painted by different artists at various locations around the city including Union Square. They are then auctioned off at the end of the year. As of 2013, Ten million dollars had been raised for the foundation. The one with the Asian motif was our favorite. We feel so blessed to be only 60 miles away from one of the most colorful cities in the world.

*Postscript: Born Antonio Dominick Benedetto, Tony Bennett is a national treasure. He is not only one of the great legends in Jazz and popular music who served his country during the Second World War, but is an accomplished artist. A man of great humility, he admits to having made "mistakes," in his life. He lives joyously in the present and is revered by a younger generation of performers. Cecile and I had the pleasure of seeing him perform in New York after his book: Life Is a Gift: The Zen of Bennet was published in 2012. We have an autographed copy.

Celebrating our 40th Wedding Anniversary at the Plumed Horse Restaurant

Last evening we celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary at The Plumed Horse, on Big Basin Way, nestled in the Santa Cruz foothills in Saratoga, CA that has been in existence since 1952. When Cecile and I were younger we used to take our son Jason and daughter Michelle to this well known dining establishment to celebrate special family events. Around 2007 a group of new owners injected ten million dollars worth of renovations. Since that time it has transformed itself into a Michelin star rated restaurant for its attentive staff, elegant contemporary decor, outsized three story wine cellar with glass floor, arched barrel ceiling with shimmering Venetian plaster, and impressive sumptuous California-inspired cuisine. They have an IPAD wine list, Chihuly-like fiberoptic chandeliers that change colors and the ambiance, and comfortable seating. Patrons get a glimpse of the white-coated cooks bustling about the modern kitchen framed in by doors inset with glass. There is even a chef’s table of eight where diners can view them in action as if you were on the TV set of Top Chef.

Joining us in the celebration were Jason, Michelle, her fiance’ Kyle, his mom Kim and stepdad AL who have become dear friends. When I retired many years ago we pretty much gave up on fancy restaurants except for very special occasions, mostly due to the strict dress code back in the day that including a jacket and tie. Those restrictions have since been lifted and smart casual is now in vogue. 

As it turns out, the very capable and affable waiter assigned to our table was Joseph Karakas, the son of a former Matre Di of the Plumed Horse, Mark Karakas who used to serve us before he moved on to run the Mountain Winery and then partnering with a friend on other ventures.
All good things must come to an end, and after three hours of gastronomic bliss, decadent desserts including a banana and cream anniversary cake from the popular Icing on the Cake bakery, compliments of Kim and Al, we all hugged and said our goodbyes. As we were about to make our exit from this storybook setting, a couple at a nearby table got our attention and congratulated Cecile and I on reaching our 40th year milestone. They told us they were celebrating 7 years of marriage, and the couple next to them said they were celebrating 11 years. “Hmmm 7 and 11,” I thought. What are their odds? They looked happy, hopeful and after meeting us, perhaps inspired about the prospects of a long and happy marriage. We wished them well and left the Plumed Horse contented as we approach the final stretch.

Happy 40th Anniversary to my Beloved Cecile-A Modern Day Love Story!

Every married couple has a story to tell about how they first met. In 1972 I was employed at a local supermarket while attending medical school in Chicago and an elder teacher who came in for groceries encouraged me to attend a student party. Cecile and her sister Sherry attended the same party accompanied by blind dates. After a full day of classes, five hours of weighing produce and mopping the floors until 9 PM, this was the “last” place I wanted to be—until I met my future bride. My first impression of Cecile was that I had met someone very special. We spoke of our love for Italy and relived the old world charm of the towns we had visited, the people, my Sicilian relatives, the open air cafes, the pasta and of course the Italian gelato. We held each others gaze the entire evening as if we were the only ones in the room. We agreed to meet for dinner one evening and over time a warm and deep relationship developed between us. She was there for me when I had nothing but a burning ambition to become a successful doctor. Her love and faith in our relationship had been strong enough to leave her job as a teacher and close family ties in Chicago to join me in moving to California in 1975. Two years later we were married. They say marriage is a point of no return, but if I could turn the back the clock, I would still choose to love and marry her in a heartbeat. After 45 years of being together and 40 years of marriage, I am happy to say I love her more than ever and am grateful to still have her by my side.

Cecile, I know we will never forget the day our 300 pound safe was stolen from our last place of residence. As you know three of the many prized possesions that were taken were our 18 karat gold wedding bands and a Tanzanite ring I brought back for you during my travels to East Africa. It was quite a loss but we still had each other, our wonderful children Jason and Michelle and our little Maltese-Lily.

And, as far as losses go, Rumi, the great 13th century mystic once said, “Anything you lose comes back around in another form.” With this in mind, I bought you a new Tanzanite ring to commemorate our 40th anniversary and the renewal of our wedding vows. With this ring I thee wed.❤️

Postscript: Tanzanite is a rare gem discovered by a Masai tribesman deep in the foothills of Mt. Kilimanjaro.

P.S. Dearest Jason and Michelle, thanks so much for the beautiful photo of your mom and me that was taken in 1974 by a friend that you had stylized, enlarged and framed. It would have otherwise been lost in the family archives. We love you.

Visiting A Serene Vietnamese Monk Under House Arrest at his Temple In Ho Chi Minh City

Anthony Bourdain of the CNN hit travelogue series, “Parts Unknown” said, “going to Vietnam the first time was life-changing for sure; maybe because it was all so new and different to my life before and the world I grew up in. The food, culture, landscape and smell; they’re all inseparable.” I share Bourdain’s view. Vietnam is an extraordinary place to visit and it’s people welcoming. But there is a dark underbelly that few travelers are aware of—the continuous persecution and oppression of certain monks.

When I went to Vietnam in 2004 with my son Jason, I visited the Venerable Thich Vien Dinh, the brother of a real estate broker named Truman, with whom I once had some real estate business dealings. Truman left Vietnam in 1984. His brother, whom he hasn’t seen in 32 years is the Superior Buddhist monk of two temples. One, in Ho Chi Minh City (Saigon), and, the other—a large 800 year old temple in Binh Dinh province in the countryside surrounded by farmland in the middle of Vietnam. During the Buddhist “Renaissance” movement in the 1920s, it was one of the most important training centers for monks and nuns.

When I visited him in his temple in Saigon as seen in the photo, he was under house arrest, but you wouldn’t know it by his calm and serene demeanor. His only crime was that he belonged to the United Buddhist Church of Vietnam (UBCV) and not the Vietnam Buddhist Church (VBC) under control of the Communist Party. I later learned that I was being watched; followed back to my Hotel; and copies of the photos I sent back to Dinh were confiscated. They also asked him how much money I donated to the Temple. While there I was introduced to Truman’s sister who he also hasn’t seen for 32 years. She cooked for the 40 monks who resided there including a secret mole spying on behalf of government officials.

Now, 13 years later on the Festival of Tet (Vietnamese New Year), Truman informed me that his brother is still under house arrest by the government but is permitted to live in his countryside temple, where he is very happy and peaceful. Through peaceful resistance and sheer political will, he is still leader of the United Buddhist Church of Vietnam (UBCV).

A Peaceful Sanctuary in and Unlikely Place

We arrived in Las Vegas on Tuesday at 5:30 PM and checked into the MGM Grand to celebrate my birthday which officially is August 26. 

We took a walk toward Caesar's Palace. I wasn’t quite ready yet for the frenetic pace Vegas is known for. We ate a light dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and afterwards my wife Cecile suggested we go to Serendipity 3 for their famous Frozen Hot Chocolate dessert we first encountered many years ago at Serendipity’s in NYC. It is such a coveted guilty pleasure that even the late Jackie Kennedy asked the creator for the recipe for a White House function.
But it is here where the story takes an unexpected twist. While Cecile was placing our order I turned around and spotted a Brahma Shrine tucked away in an unlikely place, between the Roman Plaza and Serendipity 3. It is a replica of the Brahman Shrine at the Erawan Hotel in Bangkok, Thailand, similar to those I had seen during my many travels & meditation retreats in Southeast Asia. In fact this extraordinary four sided shrine was actually created in Thailand and installed under the supervision of Buddhist monks. The shrine is “renowned throughout the Far East to people of all faiths as a place of prayer.”

As I lit the incense stick to make an offering at the altar of the shrine, the pleasant scent brought me to a peaceful meditative state and suddenly all the noise of the Las Vegas strip vanished. 

Like Life, a Waterfall is Always on the Move and There is Always an Uneven Flow to it

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Powerful rain storms continued to wallop Northern California this week, increasing water storage levels in our reservoirs not seen in many years, and forcing dam operators to release water to reduce flood risk. There were flash flood warnings in low lying areas and power outages two nights in a row in the gated community where we live.

Awhile back, some of you who live locally took my advice to visit the Vasona Dam Spillway when the cascading waterfalls surged 10 feet high. Yesterday, the surge was over 20 feet height and 30 feet wide. Before I realized it, a vaporous veil of mist overtook me. I was drenched from head to toe—and loving it. The roar of the turbulent waters was so great I could feel its powerful vibration. Like life, a waterfall is always on the move and there is always an uneven flow to it. I met a Vietnamese immigrant who barely spoke English but we had no problem communicating, agreeing to take each others photo while celebrating this graceful moment in time and space with a fellow human being.

Today, at long last, the sun came out. I took our niece Annabel, a University of Michigan senior student, visiting us from Ann Arbor, MI to 8 AM yoga class. Afterward, sharing the experience of the waterfall with her. The fury and intensity of the surge had eased, but was more accessible, less perilous and still amazing to witness.