“Find the good and praise it.”
—Author, Alex Haley
The Thanksgiving month timing of my brother Michael’s passing was significant in many ways. I will always remember him for his contagious smile from the time we were kids. He was eight years my junior. He was taken from us on All Saints Day, November 1; two days before our late mother Marie Augustine’s birthday, November 2, and 9 days before what would have been his 61st birthday on November 10.
On this Thanksgiving Day, our family is framing our grief through the lens of gratitude. Borrowing from the Alex Haley quote above, we have found the "good" in Michael and praising it. We found “good” in the way he was devoted to his boys, Michael Jr., Andrew, Brock, and Alex. We found "good" in the way he adored his nieces and nephews. We found good in the way he was beloved by his boss Donald (Donnie) Shauger, Executive Vice President of the Schauger Group, Inc., who took a busload of about 36 co-workers from whom one by one, my siblings, Josephine, Stephen, and I accepted heartfelt condolences after I delivered the eulogy; who together with Suez Water Service in Northern, NJ donated 600 Thanksgiving Meals for families in need in memory of Michael.
My nephew, Michael Jr., shared at the funeral mass how my brother used to take him and his brothers for a bite to eat and would buy extra take out food to give to the homeless.
Last but not least, we found “good" in our brother when we learned that he would die in the same way he lived by loving and giving. In a final act of generosity: donating his kidneys to two grateful recipients, becoming only 3 in 1,000 people who die in the way that allows for organ donation. His life lives on through them and through us by our cherished memories of him.
May you rest in peace, dear brother in the heavenly abode!
Grief is like the ocean;
It comes in waves,
Ebbing and flowing.
Sometimes the water is calm,
And sometimes it is overwhelming.
All we can do is learn to Swim.
—Vicki Harrison
Photos: The black and white photos were taken when we were kids, Michael sitting on my lap on a park bench and together with my sister and beloved mother.
