“When a childhood friend unexpectedly leaves us, a piece of our heart is forever broken.” —Author Unknown
When someone suddenly disappears from our lives, as it always does in this impermanent life of ours—in this case the loss of my close and dear childhood friend from Hoboken, NJ, named John “Jack” Dempsey—we can see the precious value of that friend more clearly as it forces one to reflect upon that friendship. John passed away peacefully on Thursday morning, December 23, 2021 at the age of 72. He grew up on 9th and Bloomfield Street and I grew up on 5th Street between Garden and Bloomfield. We both went to the former Our Lady of Grace elementary school just across from Church Square Park near my family home. It was because of John, a very popular young man that I was introduced to new friends on 11th and Washington Street. It was our turf, if you will. We played a lot of street games such as stickball, stoop ball, slap ball, miniature football, whiffle ball, and basketball to name a few. We also played poker and Acey Deucey for money on the steps of the iconic Masonic Lodge when it was closed and other venues. No one made me laugh more than John. He had great sense of humor coupled with a sharp wit. We played electronic football and Monopoly at his parents’ home and vacation home in Budd Lake and we loved to go to Schnackenberg’s Luncheonette for cherry cokes, egg creams, tuna melts, milkshakes and cheeseburgers and meet up with mutual friends. This gem of a hangout operated since 1931 was officially closed on January 28, 2019, and replaced by a new owner under the name of Alfalfa. We also hung out in the abandoned warehouses and piers with our friends where the movie “On the Waterfront” starring Marlon Brando, Eva Marie Saint, Rod Steiger, Karl Malden, and Lee J. Cobb was filmed. Now the waterfront has been replaced with sparkling high-rise apartments, condos, restaurants, retail outlets, commerciall buildings, and the W. Hotel. The street is now known as Hoboken Waterfront Walkway. There is also a Frank Sinatra Park, named after Hoboken’s favorite son.
Even though we played other sports, in the end, our all time favorite game growing up became basketball at various municipal parks around town. John and I went to St. Michael’s High School in Union City for two years before transferring to Hoboken High School for our remaining two years and graduated with the class of 1968. We played basketball at both schools. He was a star forward and team player who had a jump-shot that was pure poetry. He also ran track and later in life took up golf . From the first time we met, John and I were inseparable. We wore the same black leather and beige Parker jackets. To make this point see the attached yearbook photo of our St. Michael’s Junior Varsity Team. In the top or second row, John wore a number 51 T-shirt and I was number 22. Someone, who I don’t recall, wrote at the top of the yearbook photo “What happened?" You’re not together!" We also began college at Northwestern State College in Alva, Oklahoma for two years, leaving for different personal reasons. In John’s case it was the unexpected passing of his dad. This is where our paths began to diverge. He decided to attend Rutgers University, and I entered pre-med at Wagner College in Staten Island, NY, after which I decided to attend the Illinois College of Podiatric Medicine in Chicago. After graduation in 1975 Cecile and I moved to California. John decided on a path of law enforcement, and enrolled in the Port Authority of NY/NJ Police Academy. Before he could graduate, he was drafted by the United States Army and was set to serve in Vietnam. Luckily, upon completing his military Police training, he was reassigned to serve in Stuttgart, Germany at the United States European Command in the Military Police Honor Guard. Upon being honorably discharged he began his career with the Port Authority and was assigned to the George Washington Bridge where he served for the next thirty years. He was also a Port Authority racquetball champion two years in a row. John was a first responder on the September 11th attack on our country. The loss of 37 fellow officers, and attending most of their funerals and memorial tributes had a profound impact on his life.
John married his St. Michael’s High school sweetheart, Sheila Ferry on November 16, 1974, while I married my beloved Cecile whom I met in Chicago on March 25, 1977. My parents Frank and Maria Augustine loved John and treated him like a member of the family, and he loved them. It was so comforting having him present at their wake and memorial mass as he was for my late brother Michael. John was a real mensch and much beloved. He adored and was devoted to his wife, children and grandchildren. Cecile and I offer our heartfelt condolences to his wife Sheila, their children, William, Sheila Cooper, and Deirdre Flores, grandchildren, Molly, Owen, and Kieran, and John’s surviving sisters, Maureen (his twin), Eileen, and Kathleen. We love you John and may your Rest in Peace dear friend.
Please check out the obituary of a real patriot who served his community and his country with honor and dignity. It has been visited over 1871 times and counting.
https://www.vandermay.com/obituarydetail.html#/20961
Postscript: The photos of John and Shiela were taken at my dad Frank’s 100 th birthday dinner Trattoria Il Cafone in Lyndurst, NJ, except for the last two of me with John holding my godson William with Sheila by his side and John with his arm around my late mother Maria and Sheila looking on, respectively.
