Celebrating Mother’s Day with a festive Brunch at La Rinconada Country Club

"When you are a Mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A Mother always thinks twice,
once for her Herself and once for Her Child…”
–Sophia Loren

First of all, Cecile and I would like to wish all the special Mothers out there a very Happy Mother’s Day.
Those present at our celebration were AL and Kim Chien who hosted the event. Thank you for your generosity, friendship and love. Also present were AL’s parents Dana and Jack, AL’s brother Rich, his wife Lisa and their adorable children, Alivia and Simone; Kyle, Michelle and Jason. Gifts were exchanged for the moms, the weather couldn’t have been more accommodating, the decorations, flowers and ice sculpture were a work of art, and the food, drinks and dessert was beyond delicious, and the service beyond reproach. 

We often forget where the special milestone holidays we celebrate each year originate, so I thought a brief history
was in order. Celebrating Mother’s Day can be traced back to the ancient Romans and Greeks. In more modern times the celebration of mom’s dates back to the 19th century.
Abolitionist and suffragette Julia Ward Howe wrote the “Mother’s Day Proclamation,” calling mother’s to unite in the promotion of world peace.
1n 1908, Philadelphian feminist activist Anna Jarvis created Mother’s Day after her mother’s death, to honor the sacrifices mothers made for their children. Though Philly is known as the City of Brotherly Love, it could easily be referred to as the City of Motherly Love. Thanks to Jarvis’ campaigning efforts, a Congressional resolution was put intio play and was signed by President Woodrow Wilson in 1914, proclaiming Mother’s Day a national holiday.

Mother's Day: Remembering What My Italian Mother Taught Me

Mother's Day: Remembering What My Italian Mother Taught Me

"The loss of a mother can never be replaced, but the love of a mother can never be lost. —Kelly Flannery

We had dinner with our new friends, Ron and Gail last evening who had downsized around the same time we did, to the same gated community we now call home. One of the topics we spoke about was Mother’s Day. I had said for me Mother’s Day is bittersweet. I lost my mother on Mother’s Day. Ron said, “So did I.” In that moment I had a sobering thought that death never takes a holiday and doesn’t play favorites. When it’s your time, it's your time.

Mom was a beautiful woman, and had a smile that would light up a room; a laugh that was both robust and contagious; and possessed the sharpest of wits that would have you in stitches. She was also a hospitable host to family and friends and had the most charming Italian accent. I used to love going back to the Sicily with her to visit our ancestors.

As a devout Catholic, mom was confident that there was a room waiting for her in the Afterlife. I feel safe in saying that at the ripe old age of 88, bodily ailments and dementia setting in, she was ready to meet her maker.

It’s been four years since she has passed, and I have come to the realization that the best way to cope with having lost my mother is to change the narrative. Instead of looking at it as “my” loss, I chose to refect upon who she was, what she taught me, and the tools at my disposal to deal with the wave of melancholy that rears its head from time to time.

Mom taught me to have respect for my elders.
Mom urged me to stay in college when I was thinking of dropping out.
Mom taught me there was a power bigger than myself.
Mom told me stories of her life in Sicily before coming to America in 1947.
Mom taught me how to hug with a heartfelt embrace.
Mom taught me how to be strong when things weren’t going my way.
Mom nurtured and protected me the best she knew how.
Mom was patient even when I pushed her away.
Mom didn’t give up on me even when I would fall flat on my face.
Mom always tried to cheer me up when I was sad.
Mom taught me the meaning of hard work and sacrifice.
She taught me how to persevere and encouraged me to believe in my dreams.
She was proud of my accomplishments, and most of all she gave me unconditional love.

Common to many religious traditions are Light offerings, contemplation and prayers. They symbolize removing the darkness that death symbolizes and replacing it with the light of wisdom.

I found the single most effective ritual to ease the pain and sadness of a loss is to share it with others who are going through the same thing by employing an ancient Tibetan practice called Tonglen that has gained popularity in the West. It was taught to me and Cecile by Pema Chodron, an American born former elementary school teacher who became a Buddhist nun and utitilizes the medium of Breath. It replaces the dynamics of fear, grief or anger with compassion for oneself and our fellow human beings.Though it may seem counter-intutiive at first, one breathes in the pain and suffering of one’s self and and others who are going through difficult times. Relief is offered with the out-breath to anyone who needs it whether you know them or not. The experiential message of tonglen is that it reduces the feeling of isolation. It is a universal law that at any given time all of us suffering and joy. This is a way to share the burden of grief, and in doing so cuts it in half.

Mom, thank you for all the sacrifices you made for your family both here and abroad. Love you.

My Full Moon Relaxation Aqua Yoga Experience: An Unexpected Delight

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and the stars mirrored in your own being." —Rumi

When I slept passed my favorite afternoon gentle yoga class, that familiar twinge of guilt popped up into my mind. I let it pass. I have a little cue I give myself when the mind tries to stir up discontent. I say, “Not Now!” 
Besides there was an hour long Full Moon Aqua Yoga class at Bay Club Courtside that began at 8 PM. Our California weather has been a little manic depressive lately. It was 85° to 94° degrees recently. Last evening It was 62 degrees and the wind had been blowing strong all day. The offset was that the temperature in the pool was a comfortable 88° 

Our Aqua Yoga Fitness Instructor was Kathleen O’Malley. I introduced myself after one of her morning group classes. I was at poolside reading a book on Mindfulness from the comfort of my lounge chair and took notice of her unique style. Her command over her class was skillful and notable. She gave visual and verbal instructions from her captain’s chair in a clear and concise way. She showed her students how to move gently and rhythmically in the water to build tone and stretch isolated body parts. 

I noticed how she was able to create an instant rapport and sense of camaraderie with her students. She greeted her “wet babies,” as she affectionately called them, with her enthusiastic presence, good sense of humor and signature smile that made eveyone feel at home. At the end of her morning classes she even had her students engage in a few rounds of “laughing yoga.” 

But, the evening Aqua Yoga class added a new dimension. Unlike the morning classes Kathleen joins her students in the water rather than pantomiming the movements from her chair. It’s more mellow. The music is soothing. There were eight hearty souls that braved the unusual cool, windy weather, including Susie Brenner, a former fitness instructor in her own right and a long-time friend of Kathleen’s, Cecile and myself.

We did some warm-up exercises, a series of basic yoga stretches and Kathleen had us use the pool floor and wall to partially create resistance for some of the poses. She also encouraged us to find our balance in the water by employing the use of floating aids (i.e. foam noodles) to gain greater freedom of movement.

The benefits of aqua yoga are similar to studio based yoga. It eases anxiety, promotes relaxation and peace, reduces fatigue, relieves stiffness, increases joint range of motion, improves muscle tone, strengthens the core muscles, and improves breathing patterns. The water’s buoyancy takes the weight off your joints, making what would normally be challenging yoga postures feel effortless. It was humbling to witness some students who have certain day to day physical limitations thrive with a sense of ease, comfort and confidence in a water environment. Whatever preconcieved notions I had in the mind that, “this isn’t really yoga,” were put to rest when I saw how challenging it was to keep one’s balance with the water moving and shifting atround my legs and feet. 

Kathleen cautions students that while aqua yoga has many benefits one must continue with weight training in the gravity environment. It is important for bone health.”

In the first thirty minutes of the class, we did some basic yoga postures and the last half hour we did the aqua yoga version of relaxation pose. Kathleen handed out pool floating aids called noodles to assist us to float while on our backs. We placed one behind our knees, another behind our backs and underarms and third one behind our necks. It sure looks funny, but the end result is a heavenly experience. As we looked up to the sky, it didn’t take long to feel that joyful and magical feeling of weightlessness. I noticed the calming effect of my overactive mind slip into a deep, relaxing, meditative state and when I left the club the full moon followed me home. OMMMMMM!

Our Friends Butterfly Garden & Reflecting on Personal Transformation

Recently, our friends Marianne, an artist and children’s book writer, and her husband, Brian a musician, composer and professor of music at San Jose State invited Cecile and I for dinner at their home. We were taken by the luscious grape colored flowers in their back yard. “We planted them to attract butterflies,” Marianne said. She proceeded to show us a photo she took of a Western Tiger Swallowtail Butterfly with striking yellow and black tiger stripes and distinctive orange spots near its tail. The Swallowtail is typically seen in gardens and urban park environments. Next to the Monarch, Swallowtails are the most common variety of butterflies.

In Chinese culture, two butterflies flying in tandem represent love. Butterfies symbolize a long life. In fact, in Mandarin, the word butterfly is hu-tieh, meaning 70 years. In the U.S., releasing butterflies at the end of a wedding ceremony bodes well for the marraige. 

The butterfly is the symbol of creativity, freedom and joy. Butterfies also represent growth and change, leaving the comfort, familiarity and safety of their cocoon to discover a new world, in a new form, trusting that their untested wings will allow them to fly with confidence, grace and freedom. A butterfly teaches us that exiting the cocoon suddenly opens a new door. It shows us the beauty and power of personal transformation. It is a natural process, just like breathing, but unlike breathing it can’t be forced or manipulated in any way. It is an inside job. 

Often transformation comes through hardships. We go kicking and screaming. Then one day we take a deep breath, and submit to the process of change that is brewing inside us. Other times, transformation comes to us by choice. We begin to see things more clearly and it becomes an invitation to learn, grow and change the trajectory of our lives. Whatever way it comes about, the outcome is the same. Like the butterfly, we all have the opportunity and ability to emerge from our cocoons—transformed.

1-Photo credit: Marianne Bickett
2-Photo credit: Original watercolor of Tiger Swallowtail Butterfly by Christie Michelsen: brightspiritrising.com

The Joy of Electric Bikes Like I've Never Experienced Before

“The Bicycle Has A Soul…It Will Give You Emotions that You Will Never Forget.”
—Mario Cipollini

My friend James “Jimi” Hunter, a self-described former “extreme biker,” invited me to go riding with him one day. He has two Sonders E-Bikes in his garage—charged and ready to go. All I had to do was drive to his home and we were off to the races—so to speak.

In 1987, while racing in the Veteran's Class (men 35 and older), Jimi finished 3rd in the Cross Country race, and took first place in the downhill at the World Mountain Biking Championships. He also won the sport and masters class in the Ultimate Kamikaze Downhill in Bishop the same year. Eventually, a nasty crash, broken collar bone, severe concussion and severed vertebral artery forced him to give up high risk biking and racing. 

Upon reflection, he said, "It was all about ego. Now, I just ride for pleasure. E-BIkes are about hitting the EZ button and enjoying the ride,” he added. “It allows people who wouldn’t consider riding a bike any more to revisit the recreational aspects of the sport.” His enthusiasm for E-Biking has won over some converts. His 70 year old brother in law, a psychiatrist in Texas bought one and “fricken loves it,” he said. His sister and nephew are getting one, and after two outings with Jimi I found myself hooked and placed my order online.

We rode the hills and valleys of Los Gatos, Monte Sereno and Saratoga, CA. After living in this area for over 40 years, Jimi knows all the nooks and crannies like the back of his hand. We explored the sweet spots—quiet neighborhoods off the beaten paths, including magnificent estates, vineyards, and breathtaking panoramic vistas of the Santa Cruz Mountains.

People have been riding bikes since the 1800s. The precursor to a bicycle as we know it was a Draisienne or “Running Machine,” invented by Barn Karl von Drais of Germany. It had frames and two wheels but no pedals. It was propelled by walking and gliding.
I still remember my first Schwinn bicycle and the feeling of joy and sense of freedom I felt when I took off my training wheels. The advantage of an electric bike is it makes riding more convenient, easy and fun, and a healthy addition to any lifestyle. The pedal assist feature of electric bikes not only works out your muscles, especially on an incline, but provides the rider aerobic exercise as well. For those using it as a means of transportation to get to and from work or, run an errand. It shortens the time and distance to your final destination.

Another advantage of an E-Bike, is you can navigate hilly terrains without a sweat by the push of a button at the top of the handle bar that activates the pedal assist feature. As we age, we have less capacity to power up. Knees and quads tend to ache, and the back can stiffen. With an electric bike you don’t need to worry about getting halfway through your ride and caving-in to exhaustion, worrying whether you’ll make it back home. In that sense the electric motor of an E-Bike is your friend.

And, who cares if someone thinks you’re cheating? It’s not like we were taking steroids or looking to compete in the tor de France. You can’t cheat at getting around and having fun. Besides, Electric bikes are designed to break down the barriers to entry to the world of cycling. It’s no more cheating than using gears that were invented to assist a cyclist to climb a hill more efficiently or increase your speed on the straightaways. Electric bikes make it possible for more people of all levels of fitness to ride without being intimidated by hills, wind or any extra weight they may be carrying. For non athletes there are other fringe benefits of cycling including the freedom from traffic jams, not having to stop for gas, and not having to pay a parking fee.

During my first ride out in the Santa Cruz foothills, I couldn’t stop smiling. It was so liberating. The motor powered electric assist feature is what transforms what would normally be an ordinary bike ride to a Zen-like experience. The experience leaves you with a sense of awe, appreciation and gratitude for being alive.

So where does one get an E-Bike and how much does it cost? E-bikes can range from $800 to $8000 or more. I mentioned earlier that I placed my order online. I chose a white bodied Sondors Premium Electric Bike with pin stripe blue trim on the tire rim as created by Storm Sanders as seen in the photo. It was like placing an order for a Tesla. They had a special pre-sale program of their lastest two models are going for $699 and $899. The main features that sold me were that it was lighter and slimmer than the older models, holds a longer battery charge and can be folded in half for easier storage.

I also liked the bio of its creator, Storm Sonders who grew up in Latvia and makes his home in Malibu. Ever since he was a young boy his parents believed there was someting “off" about him. He was socially awkward, yet displayed a talent for brilliance. He finished high school at 14 and went to an art school to study to be a sculptor. In his early 20s, he was living in Chicago, building wooden models for Mattel and Fisher-Price. He went into business on his own, was very successful with many ventures but it didn’t bring him happiness. He sought out therapist and found out he had Asperger’s syndrome, a mild form of autism. 

He got interested in electric bikes following a knee injury. But, it retailed for $4000, far more than he was willing to pay for a bike. So, he decided to design his own, found a fundraising partner and together they developed a crowdfunding campaign. Early investors committed $499 for a brightly covered, fat-tire beach cruiser. Thanks to my friend Jimi, this was my first introduction to E-Bikes and I didn’t need to look any further. I liked what I saw and experienced, and can’t wait for my order to be shipped.🙂

Electric Bike Review (EBR) website:

https://electricbikereview.com/guides/true-cost-of-electric-bikes/

Entrepreneur with Asperger’s peddling affordable electric bike by Charles Fleming

http://www.latimes.com/business/autos/la-fi-hy-autism-entrepreneur-20150228-story.html

The Scoop on Liquid Nitrogen Ice Cream at Creamistry

"Life is like an ice cream cone, enjoy it before it melts away."
—Dennis Augustine

On a hot day like today, 81° here in Northern California (yesterday it was 94°, “we all scream for ice cream.”
Remember that poet getting on in years who said, “If I had it to do over again I would eat more ice cream…?
I’m with her, why wait and have regrets, unless of course you’re a diabetic, and even then there are choices.

One of the newer kids on the block in customized handcrafted fresh ice cream using Liquid Nitrogen is Creamistry. It’s a play on words: Chemistry and Creamery. The rapid freezing process (—321° Fahrenheit) provides the smoothest, richest and creamiest frozen delight. They call their servers “Creamologists.” Yes, I know it sounds like you're at your dermatologist's office. 

Part of the fun of liquid nitrogen ice cream shops, is watching your ice cream being made. When liquid nitrogen is mixed with your ice cream base, it makes the air around it very cold. This creates fumaroles of white fog that engulfs your Creamologist behind the counter top and plexiglass panel. It makes you feel like you are on the movie set of Star Trek. Beam me up Scotty! Cecile and I had fun watching and being part of a group of customers snapping photos with our cell phone cameras of this interesting phenomenon. It’s a great place to take your kids and grandkids. 

Once the fog clears, your freshly made ice cream is whisked away to the toppings bar where its adorned with your choice of toppings. They use all natural, organic ingredients and boast over 70 flavors and toppings. There are rich Vegan alternatives and Nitro shakes on the menu of choices.

We tried our first Creamstry delight in Palm Dessert. But there is one located in downtown Palo Alto with a national roll out under way as we speak.

Liquid nitgrogen has been around forever. As we learned in our science studies, Nitrogen is part of the Periodic Table bearing the symbol N and atomic number 7. I used it to freeze off warts in my clinic when I was a practicing podiatrist and many other surgeons use it to elminate cancerous cells. 

Besides making ice cream, liquid nitrogen which comes in pressurized tanks and vacuum flasks, has been used in the food and beverage service industry to displace oxygen from the package of let’s say your favorite potato chips, before it is sealed. It’s the presence of moisture that deteriorates the food quality.

The Culinary Institute of America instituted a major in culinary science. As part of obtaining their degree, students learn how to use liquid nitrogen as a coolant to not only make a smoother batch of ice cream, but to freeze strawberries in liquid nitrogen and then smash them to produce strawberry dust that could be sprinkled over a dessert. It is also used in the kitchen to flash-freeze herbs or alcohol. Bartenders use it to supercool your glass giving it a sophisticated dramatic-looking vapor.

Brunch and Bonding Time with my son Jason at the Bell Tower Cafe'

This charming Saratoga neighborhood eatery near downtown is housed in a converted historic church that dates back to 1896.
And, in spite of its religious heritage you don’t have to pray that the food you are about to be served is good. It “is” good. The white egg Persian Omelette with four organic eggs, basil, tomatoes and feta cheese is one of my favorites. Jason had the California Omelette.
The Cafe’ sports three patios with optional fresh-air dining that is peaceful and serene and welcomes and accomodates dogs. They are only open for breakfast and American-style lunch, including an assortment of tasty desserts showcased in their bakery display case. The Cafe’ is known for quick and friendly service and the freshest of ingredients.
I couldn’t resist ringing one of the 9 antique bells on the iron stand in the quaint reception nook as patrons waited for their names to be called.
While pausing half way through our meal, I saw a sign on the wall which read, “The Fondest Memories are made Gathered around the Table,” and, all I can think of was how nice it was to have my son back in the Bay Area.

Hiking, Swinging Over a Creek, and Visiting a Toppled 1,000 yr old Advocate Tree in Aptos, CA

After my story of the uprooted 30 ft. Aleppo tree in our gated community appeared in the Los Gatos Times Observer, I forwarded it to Kathleen O’Malley, an Aqua Yoga fitness instructor at BayClub, Courtside. Like myself, Kathy is a devoted nature lover. She emailed me a photo along with a note to let me know that at the moment she received my news item, she was at the Forest of Nisene Marks State Park in Aptos, CA. She was at the site of the 1,000 year old "Advocate Tree," that had toppled during the winter storms. I decided I had to go see it for myself and pay my respects to this grand daddy of old-growth redwoods. So I recruited my friend Jimi Hunter to join me.

Jimi and I made several attempts to find the fallen remains of The Advocate Tree by following the map (poorly, I may add) given to us by the ranger at the entrance to the park. We retraced our steps, crossed wooden bridges, and climbed over other fallen tree limbs. I even slid off a long slippery log into the creek—landing partially on my right lower extremity—while trying to get to the the other side. Fortunately my cell phone camera in my left pant pocket didn't get wet. It's been said that Sometimes you have to make a wrong turn before you find your way. My wife Cecile will tell you that's the story of my life:-). It turns out Jimi is as geographically challenged as I am. But perserverance paid off and we found the giant redwood.

Before it fell from grace, The Historic Advocate Tree, was an old growth coastal redwood, more than 250 feet tall and measuring 45 feet in circumference. The majestic tree was named after a conservation group, responsible for the maintenance and improvements of the nearly 10,000 acre park including 30 miles worth of walking trails. The climb to the top of the massive 20 ft. root structure that was completely upended was somewhat daunting, especially for someone like myself who has a bit of phobia about heights.

The Advocate Tree had a colorful past. It was around during the time of the Anasazi (“Ancient Ones”) cliff dwellers, believed to be ancestors of the moden Pueblo Indians. It was alive when Genghis Khan ruled Mongolia; when Joan of ark was burned at the stake; while William of Normandy invaded England; when the Spanish Conquistadors conquered the Americas, during the African Slave Trade, The Salem Witch Trials, The American Revolution and the Civil War. 

According to a local resident, he had heard the colossal tree topple over in a resounding crash that shook him to his core on Monday, January 9, 2017. When we got to the site, there it lay—broken into several monumental sections. I now understood why locals were saddened, feeling as if they had lost an old and faithful friend. 

The California Poppy—where California Bees Sleep

"At the close of a summer day, tired-winged bees to a safe shelter fly, to poppies, who wrap them away...in a lullaby..."
—Grace Hibbard, 1901

Thanks to the record rains we had this past winter and Spring, the signature orange-golden California poppy flowers are blooming. I took the first two and fourth photo in the wooded areas behind our town house.

The California poppy is an attractive native wildflower. More than a century ago, in 1903 it became the state flower and protected by state law prohibiting anyone from picking or destroying it. April 6 was dubbed California Poppy Day. 

On cooler, windy, cloudy days and chilly nights, the poppy closes its’ petals to protect it’s reproductive organs. The golden poppies are what the children call sleeping flowers; and as evening approaches they close up. Tucked snugly inside the petals in a warm embrace one can find bees fast asleep with their legs tucked up, and their shiny bodies covered with pollen. 

Early Spanish settlers called the poppy copa del ora (cup of gold) due to its cup like appearance when fully open. 
California poppies make their greatest showing, on the grazed lands of California hillsides since animals avoid eating the bitter-tasting plants. 

Native California Indians used poppies for food and medicine. The plants were boiled or roasted on hot stones to eat as greens. Other tribes used the flower as a potent scalp rub to kill lice, and still other tribes used it as a poultice of fresh root for toothaches. The poppy plant also has sedative and analgesic properties and some say it can be used to treat pateints with insomnia and anxiety.
Photo credit: The fourth photo with the bumble bee foraging for pollen was taken by Kathy Keetley Garvey.

Postscript: Grace Hibbard's full poem circa 1901:

WHERE CALIFORNIA BEES SLEEP

When the cold white fog rolls in from the sea,

At the close of a summer day,

Tired—winged bees to a safe shelter fly,

To poppies, who wrap them away

In blankets of soft, shining, satin sheen—

Silken coverlets fit for kings,—

And breezes sway in a lullaby way

The bees with the tired wings.

But lo! when the the sun shines out once again,

And kisses the tops of the trees,

The poppies unfold into cups of gold,

And away fly the honey-bees.

In Honor of Earth Day: Visiting with Canada Geese & their Goslings

The destiny of humans cannot be separate from the destiny of Earth [and all living things].                                                                                                                          —Thomas Berry

Cecile and I have been captivated by these Canada Geese and their adorable goslings we visit during our morning walk at the main lake—a stone’s throw away from where we live. 
Geese symbolize the sacred circle of life, cooperation, communication, knowing when to lead and when to follow. I was suprised to learn that Geese are not really from Canada. The true migratory goose was almost driven to extinction from excessive hunting over 50 years ago…

By happenstance, wildlife officials in some areas of the country began a national recovery program by taking and incubating nest eggs from “decoy” geese they had captured to lure other geese coming down from Canada.

Eventually the young were deposited throughout the US., sometimes in areas where geese weren’t present. Consequently, the resident goose was born. Resident geese don’t migrate to Canada since in part, they don’t know the way…Eventually, their young offspring were drawn to U.S. parks, lakes and ponds…They stay in the U.S. because this is where they were born…”However,” says journalist Mary Lou Simms, "If some handsome, non-migratory dude finds the love of his life in a migratory group, his life instantly changes. He becomes part of the cycle for which he was originally intended. They head for Canada because the female determines the nesting site.”

Canada geese resist being touched or petted…The way they show affection for humans and each other is by a honk, chirp or coo. Geese usually hiss when strangers come too close…especially, while protecting their newborns. “When they fall in love," says Simms, "It is a lifetime committment. They mate once a year and the parents-gander (male) and goose (female)…raise their young goslings together, sharing the responsibiities.” As they say, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.🙂

Resident geese—who have fewer challenges in the wild—can live to be 25 or 30 years as opposed to migratory geese who are exposed to CLIMATE CHANGE which on one hand improves breeding due to warmer conditions but on the hand, places the mother at more risk of being attacked by predators.
Source cited: Mary Lou Simms, Journalist, Investigative reporter for The Huffington Post blog

The Baby Boomer, The Millennial, & J. Crew's CEO:

Cecile and I had a party to go to in honor of Michelle and Kyle. “Dress casual,” she said. Music to my ears, I thought. After all, my favorite wardrobe these days is Lululemon yoga wear. Don’t knock it, until you try it, guys. It’s like wearing PJs all day.
I compromized. I put on a blue Lululemon shirt, a pair of blue jeans and a grey J Crew Outfitter pullover sweater with a half zip that my fashion conscious son Jason had given me for Christmas last year. There was an unseasonable chill in the air at the pre-dinner backyard cocktail party at the Metrulas family home, and I praised myself for selecting the right choice of clothing to wear.

Suddenly, I noticed our young friend, Noel motion with his fingers to his chest and then then pointing to my chest. I realized this was men’s speak for, “Dude we are wearing the same sweater.” I’m sure this has happend to almost everyone at one time or another, when you suddenly realize that someone is wearing the exact same oufit as you. 
As fate would have it, we were seated across from each other. A Millennial and an aging “Baby Boomer,” with over 30 years between us, sitting there like two book ends. Noel’s fiancee, Kacy, a psychiatry resident at Stanford said, “You look like twins,” as she smiled micheviously. In the end, Noel and I were pretty cool about it, laughing about it in fact, as we partied on. After all, we didn’t have to worry about the late Joan RIvers of the Fashion Police getting on our case for confusing the public. 

After a few days went by, I got this brainstorm to email J. Crew Chairman and CEO Millard “Mickey” Drexler. Really, no lie! In fact, I discovered that he had extended an invitation to J. Crew customers to give him feedback on the companies e-commerce site. So I did. I told him about the party, how Noel and I were dressed alike in our J Crew sweaters. The one observation I had made about their website was that it markets to a much younger crowd, and one market they were overlooking was more mature dudes like myself.

He promptly wrote back: “Hi Dennis, hope everthing is well—thanks so much for your email—totally agree with your comments and we’re actually working on showing more people of different ages...who do in fact wear our clothes or ‘should be wearing our clothes'…Have a great weekend!" Best, Mickey. 

Whoops, I need to go. Noel and I have a photoshoot with GQ:-)

Clouds and Thoughts and How we Choose to See Them

Clouds and Thoughts and How we Choose See Them

There are times when clouds look majestic and fanciful and other times when they look ominous and threatening.
As a long time meditator I have often compared clouds to thoughts. Some thoughts are friendly, uplifting and fun.
For example when things are going my way I feel like I am on a proverbial “Cloud 9." 
Other thoughts are strange and downright terrifying. This is when it seems everything that can go wrong “will” go wrong.
As human beings we prefer clouds we like over those we don’t like. It is the same with thoughts. We embrace the thoughts that make us feel good and resist the ones that make us feel badly.

One of my meditation teachers, Gil Fronsdale, at the Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, CA once told us that when he was growing up in Norway, his father told him: “Now Gil, your mind is going to come up with a lot of crazy thoughts. Don’t believe them!”

In other words, just like clouds, thoughts are variable, transient and impermanent. Trying to make a dark cloud go away is as futile as trying to make a dark, scary thought disappear. Just as we can’t control our thoughts, we can’t control the weather. The best strategy is to patiently wait it out. As the song in Little Ophan Annie goes: “The sun will come out, tomorrow….” 

In the meantime, take these wonderful clouds for what they are—expressions of atmospheric moods, Nature’s artistry and poetry in flight.

Photos: I Took these photos in and around our neighborhood in Los Gatos, CA

https://enjoyyourlifenow.net

Biophilia: The State of Love for Nature and all Living Things

It sounds like an exotic, rare and deadly disease. On the contrary, the root word “philia,” comes from the ancient Greeks, meaning “love.” In 1973, American psychoanalyst, Erich Fromm, described Biophilia as “the passionate love of life and all that is vital.”
In 1984, Edward Wilson, a Pulitzer Prize-winning biologist called Biophilia a human being's tendency to seek connections with nature and other forms of life. Living in a fast paced society has caused many of us to lose that precious connection with ourselves and the natural world. However, when we find ourselves living in an environment where living things are growing and thriving, it has a healing effect on our well-being.

Spring is a wonderful reminder of the opportunity of being enlivened by our connection to nature. 
Biophilia implies a deep affection for plants, colorful flowers, trees, pets and other living things. We have a need to interact with the natural world. We do it because if feels good. It makes us healthier, lighter, and happier. In fact, at Rutgers University in my home state of New Jersey, Researchers Jeanette Haviland-Jones, a professor of psychology, and her husband, Terry McGuire, professor of genetics, both at the school of Arts and Sciences, offered convincing evidence that flowers are potent mood elevators and have an immediate impact on our happiness.

From a historical perspective, the remains from the ruins found in Pompeii, in Southern Italy demonstrated that people brought plants into their houses and gardens more than 2000 years ago. Infirmaries, in monastic communities that were the sites of our first hospitals incorporated gardens on their grounds because they supported the healing process.

For me, Biophilia means spending time on the walking trails behind our home, or any of the County Parks like Shoreline, Vasona; and Rancho San Antonio. It is observing the passing cloud formations, feeling the breeze, and smelling the salty air of the ocean when we are on family holiday in Maui each year. Observing the ebb and flow of the ocean waves is very meditative and leaves me feeling relaxed, centered and at peace.

For others, it’s playing golf in some of the most natural and pristine settings. It is skiing, hiking in the forests, tending your garden; nurturing your orchids, playing with your dog, having lunch in the park, tea with a friend, or a bike ride on the sparsely populated scenic back roads.

All of these wondrous experiences that we engage in by ourselves or with family and friends, allows us to connect with the force of energy that surrounds us and is a part of us. We have a symbiotic relationship with "all that is," which is essential to our well being, especially in these turbulent times.

When we allow the business of life to overtake us, when we live inside our heads—worrying, planning, fantasizing, and when we allow our mobile devices to take control of our life in a way that is unhealthy, it is imperative that we remind ourselves and each other to reconnect with the beauty and movement of life that is always present. All we have to do is be mindful of it, change the channel in our minds and tune-in. 

Photos: Taken behind our townhouse at Rinconada Hills, LG, CA

https://enjoyyourlifenow.net

Couples Wedding Shower Honoring Our daughter Michelle & her Husband to Be—Kyle Lewis

The Setting: Home of Kyle’s cousin Lynn and husband Pete Metrulas who graciously hosted the event at their home. A lot of love went into the planning and execution of this party. They went beyond the call of duty.
With the help of Kyle's mom, Kim, stepdad AL and others, They transformed the inside of their historical home dating back to the 1800s into a cozy banquet room for family and friends to celebrate the made-for-each other couple. Cocktails were served in the back yard below which Steven’s Creek literally runs through the back of the homes in the neighborhood. The sound of the rushing water added to the ambience of what turned out to be a fun evening of great food, games like Name That Tune, and gift opening by the future newlyweds. 
Dearest Michelle and Kyle. May you continue to be a gift and a blessing to each other. We can’t wait for the big event in Napa when you officially take your marital vows. We Love You.

Dining at Cafe' Figaro with Jason and Michelle at a Price we Couldn't Refuse

Located on Broadway in downtown Burlingame, this four star rated restaurant serves authentic homemade Italian cuisine. It has a warm and cozy neighborhood feel resembling the ones I frequent when visiting family in New Jersey.

The word Figaro always intrigued me as a kid. It is best known as the name of Mister Geppeto and Pinocchio’s pet cat and refers to a cartoon mouse who incessantly teases the cat by singing “Figaro,” inside the wall. In fact to some, the word Figaro repeated over and over again, means you are “pretending” to sing opera-like I did when I was a kid: “figaro, figaro, fiiiigaaaroh!"

To opera buffs, Figaro is the name of an adroit, scheming, intriguing Spanish barber who appears in in eighteenth-century operas like “The Marriage of Figaro,” by Mozart and the “Barbers of Sevile," by Rossini.

By arrangements with Travelzoo, Cafe’ Figaro gave us a deal we couldn’t refuse. Dinner for four was priced at $115, or 50% off their regular price. If interested the offer is good thru September 2017. It included a glass of wine each; two shared appetizers up to $18.95; 4 entrees up to $34.95 each and two shared desserts up to $16.95.

We began our meal with crusty bread with herb infused balsamic and olive oil dipping sauce; Mussels steamed in garlic, wine, fresh tomato and basil; and the Antipasto Misto. For our main course we enjoyed Spaghetti alla Bolognese; Chicken Parmesan, Gamberi alla Mediterranea, and the fresh fish of day. Last but not least we enjoyed two shared desserts: Flourless decadent chocolate cake and Bread Pudding with maple brandy sauce and creme anglaise.

The waiters were delightful and engaging, the service was impeccable and the food was deliciously good. John Walters said: The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.” Or as my late beloved Sicilian mother used to say before every meal: Buon Appetito!

Beggars & Panhandlers: To Give or Not to Give to, that is the Question?

As I've grown older I give mindfully and more often, leading with my heart rather than the judgmental mind, knowing that it's a 50/50 proposition whether the person I encounter has a genuine or legitimate need. That being said, I understand why people are hesitant to give.

We've all seen the soggy side of a cardboard sign with the scrawled message that reads,” Hungry and Homeless, Anything Helps,” or "Kindness is Karma, please help!" There's even a phrase for it, “Flying a sign.” The message is often creative, poignant, heart-rending, inspirational, and sometimes downright funny enough to part you from your money. It is done quickly, silently and without transgressing any local statutes against agressive
panhandling. The intent is to make us feel guilty and uncomfortable, reminding us,“ But for the grace of God go I.”

When Cecile and I were in SF recently, we came across two such people. The first one was a young woman and her well groomed cat that was entertaining pedestrians by doing a downward facing cat yoga pose—on the fly, balancing itself on it's owner's head and shoulder. Since we were both walking briskly in opposite directions, I hadn’t noticed she was clutching a tightly rolled-up wad of cash in her left hand until after I saw the photo.
The other was a strung out crack addict with all her front teeth missing sitting in the doorway of an abandoned buildling with an innocent dog sleeping on her nap. I didn’t take her photo as it seemed too exploitive, but this one pulled on our heartstrings so we gave her some cash.

For some people who encounter this situation it creates sympathy for the homeless and for others a total lack of empathy. The ACLU has advocated for the rights of sign-flyers across the country. Their argument is that “we the public,” can choose to give to the beggars and pandhandlers or not. On a good day they can make a daily wage of $30-$40 a day, not exactly a windfall, but enough to get by.

But windfalls are possible. A few years ago a reporter for the New York Post wrote about a guy in the second photo who called himself Noah (aka Joseph Ramos, 64 at the time)—because he set up a miniature Noah’s Ark on the upper East Side of NYC to draw in patrons. He invited them to take photos. He had two cats, two dogs, and three guinea pigs and was raking in $40-$50 an hour. Yes, an hour—this is no typo! After having been addicted to alcohol and crack cocaine for 16 years, he claimed to have found God. ASPCA spokesmen said agents invesitgating complaints by some passersbye found no evidence of cruelty or abuse and after inspecting the pets, deemed them to be healthy.

Most panhandlers or beggars like Noah clearly have issues: a history of drugs and alcohol abuse and/or mental illness. Some are just scam artists who don’t want to work a 9 to 5 job.
You can’t always tell who is trully needy, so what does one do?

Last February Pope Francis was asked by a reporter for the Catholic News Service if giving money to beggars was proper since they may spend it on alcohol or drugs. His response was that we should ask ourselves what we “do on the sly?” What happiness do we “seek in secret.” The Holy Father added: “giving to someone in need, “is always right,” and should be done with respect and compassion. In the end, everyone must work out this moral dilemma for themselves. 
credits: 
1-Carol Glatz, Catholic News Service, February 28, 2017
2-NY Post Metro section by Kate Briquelet June 10, 2012

If a Tree Falls And No One Is Around To Hear It, Does It Make A Sound?—A True Story

While at my computer this past Wednesday morning at around 8 AM, I heard a loud crash and boom sound. My first thought was “wow,” the landscape maintenance crew at our 100 plus acre gated community at Rinconada Hills were really noisy today. Then I went back to what I was doing. Cecile had taken our son’s dog Daisy for a walk earlier. She said a tree had fallen and it was blocking the walking trails. “That was the sound I heard earlier,” I said. She looked surprised. But, I wasn't. You see my home office overlooks the walking trails of this unusually quiet refuge.

"Come on! Let’s go take a look,” I said. It was only a few hundred feet down the path. We were blown away by what we saw. A thirty foot Aleppo Pine tree was leveled to the ground leaving a fractured, rotted 5 foot high stump. It was only a matter of timing and fate that Cecile and Daisy as well as other residents were spared serious injury or worse. I felt a deep sense of relief and gratitude that they were safe.

This wasn’t the first tree I had seen a tree uprooted. While at Vasona County Park last Saturday I saw an even a bigger tree that had toppled to the ground as seen in the first photo. It too, was completely blocking a path where a public fundraising event: Walk with Compassion to End International Child Poverty was taking place. 

I couldn’t help but think of something philosopher, George Berkley, postulated in the early 1700s. When he said, “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” This would later become a paradoxical Zen koan used to demonstrate the inadequacy of logical reasoning since there are many ways to answer. In my case, it became a moot issue, since I actually heard the sound–at least the one behind our town home.

Like us humans, all trees have the potential to keel over. There are many reasons a tree dies and falls: wind, ice, snow, flood waters, and disease-like fungus induced wood decay. But most tree experts say the main reason is a phenomenon called “‘windthrow” that causes a tree to uproot. It’s like we learned in physics class. The tree trunk acts as a lever arm and when force is applied to the roots and the trunk, it begins to reach a literal “tipping point,” and is seconds crashes to the ground.

After returning home I thought further about these acts of Mother Nature. The shapes of the felled tree looked almost-human like. Twisted and severed limbs. It really made me wonder if trees feel pain when falling to earth. Many from the scientific community say no. But over 40 years ago, scientists noticed an interesting phenomenon on the African savanah. Giraffes were feeding on umbrella thorn acacias, and the trees resisted the attack. Within minutes they began pumping toxic substances into their leaves. The giraffes got the message and moved on to other acacia trees. Eventually they had to abandon their efforts as the trees whose leaves were being eaten sent out a signal—via an emission of ethylene gas—to members of their own species warning them of an impending crisis. All the forewarned trees prepared themselves by pumping toxins into their leaves and the crisis was averted. 

Reference: Do Trees Have Feelings Too? One Expert Says they Do. Peter Wohlleben, The Telegraph, September 2016

We Found Our Favorite HeARTS ❤️❤️ in San Francisco & Showy Flowers Too

After Cecile returned a dress at Nordstrom's and we had lunch at the Cafe Bistro, we strolled in and around Union Square. We saw the ever present cable cars, colorful flowers like the showy Yellow Trumpet Vine. We also saw the Heart Sculpture exhibit in Union Square Park, including Tony Bennet's America's "Greatest City By The Bay." HEARTS in SF is an annual public art installation that began in 2004 by the San Francisco General Hospital Foundation. The choice of hearts was inspired by the Tony Bennet* song, "I Left My Heart in San Francisco." Each year these sculptures are painted by different artists at various locations around the city including Union Square. They are then auctioned off at the end of the year. As of 2013, Ten million dollars had been raised for the foundation. The one with the Asian motif was our favorite. We feel so blessed to be only 60 miles away from one of the most colorful cities in the world.

*Postscript: Born Antonio Dominick Benedetto, Tony Bennett is a national treasure. He is not only one of the great legends in Jazz and popular music who served his country during the Second World War, but is an accomplished artist. A man of great humility, he admits to having made "mistakes," in his life. He lives joyously in the present and is revered by a younger generation of performers. Cecile and I had the pleasure of seeing him perform in New York after his book: Life Is a Gift: The Zen of Bennet was published in 2012. We have an autographed copy.

Celebrating our 40th Wedding Anniversary at the Plumed Horse Restaurant

Last evening we celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary at The Plumed Horse, on Big Basin Way, nestled in the Santa Cruz foothills in Saratoga, CA that has been in existence since 1952. When Cecile and I were younger we used to take our son Jason and daughter Michelle to this well known dining establishment to celebrate special family events. Around 2007 a group of new owners injected ten million dollars worth of renovations. Since that time it has transformed itself into a Michelin star rated restaurant for its attentive staff, elegant contemporary decor, outsized three story wine cellar with glass floor, arched barrel ceiling with shimmering Venetian plaster, and impressive sumptuous California-inspired cuisine. They have an IPAD wine list, Chihuly-like fiberoptic chandeliers that change colors and the ambiance, and comfortable seating. Patrons get a glimpse of the white-coated cooks bustling about the modern kitchen framed in by doors inset with glass. There is even a chef’s table of eight where diners can view them in action as if you were on the TV set of Top Chef.

Joining us in the celebration were Jason, Michelle, her fiance’ Kyle, his mom Kim and stepdad AL who have become dear friends. When I retired many years ago we pretty much gave up on fancy restaurants except for very special occasions, mostly due to the strict dress code back in the day that including a jacket and tie. Those restrictions have since been lifted and smart casual is now in vogue. 

As it turns out, the very capable and affable waiter assigned to our table was Joseph Karakas, the son of a former Matre Di of the Plumed Horse, Mark Karakas who used to serve us before he moved on to run the Mountain Winery and then partnering with a friend on other ventures.
All good things must come to an end, and after three hours of gastronomic bliss, decadent desserts including a banana and cream anniversary cake from the popular Icing on the Cake bakery, compliments of Kim and Al, we all hugged and said our goodbyes. As we were about to make our exit from this storybook setting, a couple at a nearby table got our attention and congratulated Cecile and I on reaching our 40th year milestone. They told us they were celebrating 7 years of marriage, and the couple next to them said they were celebrating 11 years. “Hmmm 7 and 11,” I thought. What are their odds? They looked happy, hopeful and after meeting us, perhaps inspired about the prospects of a long and happy marriage. We wished them well and left the Plumed Horse contented as we approach the final stretch.

Happy 40th Anniversary to my Beloved Cecile-A Modern Day Love Story!

Every married couple has a story to tell about how they first met. In 1972 I was employed at a local supermarket while attending medical school in Chicago and an elder teacher who came in for groceries encouraged me to attend a student party. Cecile and her sister Sherry attended the same party accompanied by blind dates. After a full day of classes, five hours of weighing produce and mopping the floors until 9 PM, this was the “last” place I wanted to be—until I met my future bride. My first impression of Cecile was that I had met someone very special. We spoke of our love for Italy and relived the old world charm of the towns we had visited, the people, my Sicilian relatives, the open air cafes, the pasta and of course the Italian gelato. We held each others gaze the entire evening as if we were the only ones in the room. We agreed to meet for dinner one evening and over time a warm and deep relationship developed between us. She was there for me when I had nothing but a burning ambition to become a successful doctor. Her love and faith in our relationship had been strong enough to leave her job as a teacher and close family ties in Chicago to join me in moving to California in 1975. Two years later we were married. They say marriage is a point of no return, but if I could turn the back the clock, I would still choose to love and marry her in a heartbeat. After 45 years of being together and 40 years of marriage, I am happy to say I love her more than ever and am grateful to still have her by my side.

Cecile, I know we will never forget the day our 300 pound safe was stolen from our last place of residence. As you know three of the many prized possesions that were taken were our 18 karat gold wedding bands and a Tanzanite ring I brought back for you during my travels to East Africa. It was quite a loss but we still had each other, our wonderful children Jason and Michelle and our little Maltese-Lily.

And, as far as losses go, Rumi, the great 13th century mystic once said, “Anything you lose comes back around in another form.” With this in mind, I bought you a new Tanzanite ring to commemorate our 40th anniversary and the renewal of our wedding vows. With this ring I thee wed.❤️

Postscript: Tanzanite is a rare gem discovered by a Masai tribesman deep in the foothills of Mt. Kilimanjaro.

P.S. Dearest Jason and Michelle, thanks so much for the beautiful photo of your mom and me that was taken in 1974 by a friend that you had stylized, enlarged and framed. It would have otherwise been lost in the family archives. We love you.