“Grief is as individual as a fingerprint. Do what is right for your soul”
There are different ways to mourn and pay a memorial tribute to a loved one. For my nephew, staff sergeant, Andrew Augustine, who has served in the US Air Force for the passed 9 years, it was to have a memorial tank tattoo inked on his body with grandpa Frank’s name on it. He and his brothers liked to call my dad “Frank the Tank” because he enjoyed rhyming our names (Mine was Dennis the Menace:-) and because dad was a veteran of the US Army. Andrew was recently deployed to Portugal and regrettably was unable to attend his grandpa’s funeral. However, he did get to see him in mid-November when Cecile and I made a short visit to NJ to see my dad and the family.
Today is the day dad would have turned 101. Some family members hoped against hope he might make it. At a New Years Eve event Cecile and I attended one of the servers, named Carina was wearing a black T-Shirt that read “The Journey is the Destination.” Every time she passed by a platter of appetizers, I seemed more interested in the quote on her shirt than the food she was serving. I kept reflecting on the fact that life is about all our experiences that occur “between" the significant milestone events we reach. Whether dad made it to 101 was irrelevent. After all, it was not about reaching a particular age, it was the wonderful way he lived his life that I have recounted here over the years.
The day after we buried him it was pouring rain. I attempted to go to my favorite yoga studio to take a class with my favorite teacher to create some space for myself to deal with the mental and emotional residue of losing him. It had moved to a new location. My Uber driver got misdrected by his GPS and I was not only late, but I wound up at the different studio called Honor Yoga. Their mission statement: Honor your mind, honor your body and honor yourself.
I approached the young woman at the reception area and asked when was her next class and she said 45 minutes.
I told her I would wait to take the class but felt some disappointment arising. I was still holding on to the assumption that I was best served taking a class with my favorite teacher at the other studio.
Jennifer Gigantino, co-owner of Honor Yoga and would be leading the class. I found myself staring at her T-shirt which read: “Let it Be, Let it Be, Let it Be. There will be an answer Let it Be.” I had noticed the lyrics written by Paul McCartney when I first checked in. The inspiration came from the Beatles' dead mother, Mary when he was having a tough time dealing with her loss.
Jennifer, a former teacher of autistic children led a good gentle class. She opened with “Let go of any worries and concerns and be in the present moment.” Calming music was being played. At the close, during relaxation pose, she came around to each one of us and massaged some soothing essential oil around the crown of our heads. I had been nursing a sore right elbow for weeks and had I gone to the other yoga studio I would have found myself in a more active class which would have been problematic. Honor Yoga was the place I needed to be. It was gentle, relaxing, peaceful and easy on the elbow. It is interesting how things we often fret about clear up just in the process of life itself, when we don’t try to control the outcome, justing “letting things be.”
Postscript: The last photo of me wearing dad’s winter coat I took home to keep him close.
Photo Credit: Honor Yoga January 2018 Newsletter
